It has being 3 days.. 3 days just pass this way.. My relationship with her just ended like tat.. I cannot face it, really i cannot. It very hard for me to even stand up now. i know my bro, frenz and family out there r supporting me. i dun wish to disappoint them or even see in me in this stat. I really hate it. I m really sry guys and thanx for everything, u guys do all kind of crap just to make me smile. I really appreciate it alot. But when Nite come, my mood seem to be diff, i m lost again, i dunnoe wat to do, i no3 i need to bring myself up but i really need time.
I guess i have fallen too deep this time. All my hope and dream seem to be shattered. I seem lost, i could not find my soul, cause my soul is stolen. My heart seem to be in broken pieces, i dunnoe wat rite wat wrong. Everything seem to be so blank? Even till now. Although i have set my goal and now wat to do, i m still not sure i m able to do it. i need to over come all this. I dunnoe why,how,what wrong with the both of us. Everything seem so fine, till friday. I could not slp, eat or do anything, all i can do is just smoke. The pain in my heart just so strong, my mind just keep flashing n flashing of the past thing we did. Everywhere i go there is a memory of me and her, i dunnoe wat to do, i dun wanna step out of the house, i really dun wanna. Marina has the most memories of all. None of the food i eat taste as nice as b4, i know i need to eat but everytime i eat i seem to be vomiting it out after a few min. wat wrong with me? can any1 tell me? do i need to see a doctor?
She does not wan to give me the real reason, i dunnoe y 2. But i choose to believe her, i believe in wat she say, wat she do. U all may say i stupid, but i no3 wat i m doing. I m writing this not to get her to pity me or wat. i just wanna write out how i feel, everytime i tell pple how i feel, i could not control myself to tear out. When will my tear dry up? i dunnoe it is hard to ans.
I was thinking wat m i gonna do on saturday? I m too use to the sticky lovely rachel on my side, saturday is the only moment i spent with her till nite, although the journey home was long, but who care, i enjoy sending her back. Beside saturday, tuesday nite friday nite, we r suppose to have dinner together and i will sent her to sch. But now.. All is gone! gone! nothing have left. only me myself and i. I miss her smile (her eyes will be very small like 1 striaght line and 2 front teeth). I miss everything in her. She told me she is doing this for my own good, but why must we be so drama? why? can i really live without her? or should i try? i dunnoe. i hate nite time, there the time where i become more emo. alot of flash black seem to come across, i wan to slp but i cannot, cause my head just cannot stop thinking and my heart just cannot stop aching..
I m just so afraid to see saturday coming.. moreover my bday is coming, 6sep. is she gonna celebrate for me? is she? i really hope she do. can tat be my last wish? i know my bro n sis out there wanna celebrate for me, but i just 1 person, just 1 will do. i really hope time will stop on tuesday n just skip on wednesday, i just have a feeling she will not celebrate with me, is not cause she dun wanna celebrate with me, cause she is afraid to see me, the down side of me, the ugly side of me. It is already 12 now. 1 more day to my bday.. i realy afraid to see the outcome.
how m i suppose to slp, tml she is goin sch, m i gonna fetch her? i wan to. but i dun think she wanna, i wanna have a dinner with her. but i dunnoe she wan not. we did talk yesterday i was so happy, i no3 she is sad, i can feel it, i can feel she is crying out when she is doing this to me. i dunnoe why must she do this. i need to wake up my idea. i guess the first step i have to do is to plan for my future, the step tat i have to take. maybe i should stop gaming? ha..
Rachel, i dunnoe wat u doing is rite not? but i choose to believe in u. i will like to let u no3 tat i will achive thing for myself, and i m goin ns soon ba. maybe it is the rite time for us to leave, u dun wanna tell me your truth feeling, but i can feel u r in the same stat as me. i just feel it. u r just acting cold to me, but deep inside u dun wan to. maybe we can work thing out together without goin diff direction? but i still respect your decision. N pls stop pushing me to other people, i dun like tat. i have eyes to see wat kind of girl i need. If u need a shoulder, any1 to talk to, feel lonely or anything, feel free to call me or drop me a sms, i will be more den happy to ans. i will take care of u till u have found some1 better, den i will just walk away. dun worry about me, worried more about your health. Remember to take care wor, eat your lunch dinner n so n so.. dun later glastric.. i no3 i did sms u today. sry i should not have. maybe i should really stop smsing u.. i dunnoe how will u feel. but u seem to wanna play cold. alrite enough of all this emo thing. nite pple.. thanx for listening me crapping.. alot of spelling error ba..
One last word.. ha, I still love u, miss u, everything in u. hee hugz n kisses.
I guess i have fallen too deep this time. All my hope and dream seem to be shattered. I seem lost, i could not find my soul, cause my soul is stolen. My heart seem to be in broken pieces, i dunnoe wat rite wat wrong. Everything seem to be so blank? Even till now. Although i have set my goal and now wat to do, i m still not sure i m able to do it. i need to over come all this. I dunnoe why,how,what wrong with the both of us. Everything seem so fine, till friday. I could not slp, eat or do anything, all i can do is just smoke. The pain in my heart just so strong, my mind just keep flashing n flashing of the past thing we did. Everywhere i go there is a memory of me and her, i dunnoe wat to do, i dun wanna step out of the house, i really dun wanna. Marina has the most memories of all. None of the food i eat taste as nice as b4, i know i need to eat but everytime i eat i seem to be vomiting it out after a few min. wat wrong with me? can any1 tell me? do i need to see a doctor?
She does not wan to give me the real reason, i dunnoe y 2. But i choose to believe her, i believe in wat she say, wat she do. U all may say i stupid, but i no3 wat i m doing. I m writing this not to get her to pity me or wat. i just wanna write out how i feel, everytime i tell pple how i feel, i could not control myself to tear out. When will my tear dry up? i dunnoe it is hard to ans.
I was thinking wat m i gonna do on saturday? I m too use to the sticky lovely rachel on my side, saturday is the only moment i spent with her till nite, although the journey home was long, but who care, i enjoy sending her back. Beside saturday, tuesday nite friday nite, we r suppose to have dinner together and i will sent her to sch. But now.. All is gone! gone! nothing have left. only me myself and i. I miss her smile (her eyes will be very small like 1 striaght line and 2 front teeth). I miss everything in her. She told me she is doing this for my own good, but why must we be so drama? why? can i really live without her? or should i try? i dunnoe. i hate nite time, there the time where i become more emo. alot of flash black seem to come across, i wan to slp but i cannot, cause my head just cannot stop thinking and my heart just cannot stop aching..
I m just so afraid to see saturday coming.. moreover my bday is coming, 6sep. is she gonna celebrate for me? is she? i really hope she do. can tat be my last wish? i know my bro n sis out there wanna celebrate for me, but i just 1 person, just 1 will do. i really hope time will stop on tuesday n just skip on wednesday, i just have a feeling she will not celebrate with me, is not cause she dun wanna celebrate with me, cause she is afraid to see me, the down side of me, the ugly side of me. It is already 12 now. 1 more day to my bday.. i realy afraid to see the outcome.
how m i suppose to slp, tml she is goin sch, m i gonna fetch her? i wan to. but i dun think she wanna, i wanna have a dinner with her. but i dunnoe she wan not. we did talk yesterday i was so happy, i no3 she is sad, i can feel it, i can feel she is crying out when she is doing this to me. i dunnoe why must she do this. i need to wake up my idea. i guess the first step i have to do is to plan for my future, the step tat i have to take. maybe i should stop gaming? ha..
Rachel, i dunnoe wat u doing is rite not? but i choose to believe in u. i will like to let u no3 tat i will achive thing for myself, and i m goin ns soon ba. maybe it is the rite time for us to leave, u dun wanna tell me your truth feeling, but i can feel u r in the same stat as me. i just feel it. u r just acting cold to me, but deep inside u dun wan to. maybe we can work thing out together without goin diff direction? but i still respect your decision. N pls stop pushing me to other people, i dun like tat. i have eyes to see wat kind of girl i need. If u need a shoulder, any1 to talk to, feel lonely or anything, feel free to call me or drop me a sms, i will be more den happy to ans. i will take care of u till u have found some1 better, den i will just walk away. dun worry about me, worried more about your health. Remember to take care wor, eat your lunch dinner n so n so.. dun later glastric.. i no3 i did sms u today. sry i should not have. maybe i should really stop smsing u.. i dunnoe how will u feel. but u seem to wanna play cold. alrite enough of all this emo thing. nite pple.. thanx for listening me crapping.. alot of spelling error ba..
One last word.. ha, I still love u, miss u, everything in u. hee hugz n kisses.
posted by Henry at 11:43 PM
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